Category: observations

The pornographic cancer that once lurked in darker parts of the Internet is now coming out of the shadows. It used to be that if you stayed on safe sites you wouldn’t be bothered with offensive content. That has changed. These days, offensive and pornographic ads are showing up on “safe” sites with increasing frequency. I am constantly seeing sidebar ads that are in poor taste, and as time goes by, the ads don’t just border on pornographic; they are pornographic. The strange thing to me is how little it is talked about. People share images and videos on Facebook, and when I follow the links, the articles themselves might be benign, but the sites have offensive sidebar advertising. The people sharing these articles would consider themselves very religious and church-going people, and yet they seem unaware of the environment that accompanies the video or image they are sharing.

Some sites use good things as bait for bad things. Recently I was researching pottery designs for an art project. In a Google search I found a nice design. A click on the image took me to a seemingly ordinary site, with an article on pottery designs. It was strange that the site was for a mattress company, but the content of the article was informative, so I kept on reading. As I moved down the page, to the right I saw an advertisement with a photo of a woman pulling her pants down enough to reveal that which most women would choose to keep private. There was no reason to have that kind of advertising on the site, but it was there. The pottery article was the bait for the pornographic ad. These advertisers aren’t satisfied with pitching their message to people looking for porn. They want to assault the eyes of those who aren’t looking for it.

Will we allow it to continue? Why aren’t more people complaining? Does it mean they have become accustomed to the filth, and truly don’t notice? Are they afraid to talk about it? I notice it, and it bothers me. I choose not to share articles for sites that promote that kind of advertising, regardless of who they are.

We used to get along really well with our next door neighbor. Then she got a dog. Our apartments share a wall, and we also share a back deck. There is a wooden lattice wall separating her side and ours. The deck is very pleasant and shady, except when the neighbor’s dog is out. It puts its head under the lattice wall and barks at us. Unless she brings her dog inside, our only option is to leave.  Our daughter is terrified of the dog, though we have tried to explain that the dog isn’t mean, just crazy.

We can tell that the neighbor is embarrassed, and that has strained communication between us. Whenever the dog sees us, or anyone else, it nearly always barks. If she has the dog out front, and it starts barking, our daughter starts to cry, and dog and neighbor go quickly inside.

The ironic thing is, this neighbor has a strained relationship with the people who live on the other side of her. Their dog is the cause of it. It is mean, barks at everyone, and tries to bite when it gets an opportunity. It has bit her twice (not severely), and she used to complain to us about the distress it caused. She felt the conflict of wanting to maintain a good relationship with the neighbors while wanting to have animal control remove the dog. She doesn’t talk about the neighbor’s dog anymore, as I’m sure the irony is not lost on her.

We have no plans to contribute to the dog/neighbor friction. We remain pet free.

Wikipedia: “Bigotry is the state of mind or attitude of a bigot, defined by Merriam-Webster as “a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially: one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance”.[1] Bigotry may be based on real or perceived characteristics, including age, disability, dissension from popular opinions, economic status, ethnicity, gender identity, language, nationality, personal habits, personal feelings, political alignment, race, region, culture, religious or spiritual belief, sex, species, or sexual orientation”.

In my experience, the people who constantly use “bigot” to describe others, easily qualify for the label themselves.

For weeks, one of my Facebook friends shared only images that had quotes with minions in the background. He would share them in batches of 10 or 15 at a time. I tried blocking the sources of the things he was sharing, but each day more would appear. I eventually just “unfollowed” him since he wasn’t saying anything about himself anyway. Other Facebook friends seem to take every poll they can possibly find, like “What is your IQ?”, “What is your mental age?”, “Which Disney princess are you?”, “What is your Star Wars name?”, and on, and on, and on. Some do the same with loads of grumpy cat quotes. Others share streams of political “click-bait” posts.

The common thing in all this sharing is the lack of input or explanation by the friend. It’s just the item itself. I consider it shallow sharing when friends share like robots and give none of their own input. If they are going to share something, I want to know why they think it is worth sharing.

If I could speak a new language I think it would be Italian. The movie Life is Beautiful probably influenced some of my thinking. Instead of having it translated, I choose to watch it in Italian with English subtitles. I love how it sounds.

I prefer not to use “Love you more” as a reply to “I Love you”. In my opinion it cheapens the exchange. It takes the focus away from the love you share and makes it a silly competition. Instead of sharing the agreement of mutual affection, a couple is divided by an argument, playful though it may be. I have no evidence that it hurts relationships, but I prefer to send and receive clear, honest messages of love.