Category: life lessons

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We all have it coming

I saw Clint Eastwood’s ‘Unforgiven’ many years ago. It isn’t a movie I would recommend, so it’s interesting how one part still stands out in my memory. Clint Eastwood’s character, Will Munny, has been looking for some men who brutalized a woman—to get a bounty I think. He’s been riding with a young man who goes by the name of The Schofield Kid. The Kid does a lot of bragging about how many people he had killed. Finally, they locate two of the men. One of them is in an out house and The Schofield Kid throws open the door and shoots him. I can’t remember if Munny shot the other one.

The Kid admits to Will Munny that this was his first time killing someone. He is feeling remorse instead of elation. This is the part that has stayed with me all these years—the last two lines specifically. I think there is a lesson in them:

The Schofield Kid: [after killing a man for the first time] It don’t seem real… how he ain’t gonna never breathe again, ever… how he’s dead. And the other one too. All on account of pulling a trigger.

Will Munny: It’s a hell of a thing, killing a man. Take away all he’s got and all he’s ever gonna have.

The Schofield Kid: Yeah, well, I guess they had it coming.

Will Munny: We all got it coming, kid.

Most of us are not guilty of crimes that these men are talking about, so it’s easy to say, “I haven’t done what those people have done. I hope they get what they deserve”. I certainly don’t condone murder or the brutalization of women, and I do believe in justice under the law. But what if we ALL got what we deserved? What if, instead of mercy, we all got what we had coming—the unfiltered, undiluted blast of justice? Who have we hurt intentionally, or unintentionally? Who have we made to suffer? Parents? Teachers? Class mates? Friends? People we have dated? Spouses? Children? Are there things we’ve said that we wish we could take back?

I think back on stupid things I did as a kid where I could have hurt myself, or possibly others, and luck (or the Lord) saved me from tragedy. Punishment never came for those lapses in judgement because no actual damage was done and life moved on. But the poor choices were already made, and consequences weren’t in my control. I nearly wrecked my dad’s truck once because I was going too fast on a dirt road and didn’t see the washed out road ahead. I hit the brakes hard, and the truck slid into the ruts in the road and started bouncing sideways. It finally caught and tipped up high on 2 wheels before it came down safely on all 4. Disaster averted. I wasn’t wearing a seat belt (nobody did back then), so I could easily have been injured. I think there was a passenger with me, and they could have been hurt as well. I would have had to pay for the damage to the truck. I would have lost the trust of my parents. We were shaken up, but no damage was done and we drove away thankful. Nobody else found out so my life wasn’t altered by it. I could have received justice but I got mercy instead.

I’ve said hurtful things to people in the past. I’m pretty sure I haven’t apologized for all of the things I’ve said. I’m not sure if they still remember them, but what if they do? I hope they have forgiven me. Again, I hope I receive mercy rather than justice.

I hope justice isn’t meted out in full measure for all the poor choices I’ve made. I hope there is mercy. I hope I can extend that wish of mercy to others; even people who have hurt me or endangered me in some way. We all have it coming. We all need the mercy and the forgiveness that comes through the atonement of Christ.

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Facebook makes us angry with each other

Ok, I’m not sure that Facebook is the root cause of the problem, but it seems that before Facebook became popular it was easier to maintain friendships with people who held differing views. These days the world seems more polarized when it comes to opinions. As people broadcast their thoughts and prejudices on Facebook, relationships can be strained and tested. For example, how long do we tolerate political messages from good friends who happen to be on the other side of a political fence? What about the people who constantly post about causes they feel deeply about, but we don’t? Since Facebook doesn’t really allow us to pick and choose the type of posts we see from friends, sometimes we make choices to terminate the relationship, on Facebook anyway. Once some people know you believe a certain way, they don’t want to be your friend anymore. I’m pretty sure I’ve been “unfriended” by people because of my Christian and conservative posts.

I’ve unfriended a few people myself. In the past I considered some of these people very good friends, but time and geographical distance changed the relationship for them. They started making rude, condescending comments about things I was posting. Instead of treating me like a friend, they treated me like someone they might argue with on a public forum. Perhaps that’s where they learned to behave that way. I chose not to tolerate it. My friends don’t have to agree with everything I say, but I expect a certain degree of respect. The Facebook environment seems to encourage people to say things online to their friends that they wouldn’t dare say to your faces.

Strangely, even friends who share very similar political and religious beliefs seem primed to want to fight. Instead of insulting me, they insult my friends, even if those friends are agreeing with me. On some of my posts I have deleted posts of friends who chose not to behave with respect. People are forgetting how to be nice.

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The armor of the adversary

We had a really nice Stake Conference meeting tonight. Elder Parker talked about his daughter and how, when she was younger, she started to question her beliefs. He and his wife had done all they could to help her. They decided they had to give her over to God. Only He had the power to reach her and heal her. She eventually came around and is doing well. She is an adult with kids of her own. Her kids are struggling just like she did. Elder Parker said sometimes we have to let the Lord do the work when we have tried all we can. He said, “We always talk about the armor of God. Satan has armor also, and we need the help of the Lord to penetrate it.”

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Making yourself available to the Lord

A recently returned missionary gave a talk in church today. He related a story about one of the missionaries he worked with. This other missionary started out with a knowledge deficit, and less of a testimony than he would have wanted, but he had faith and a willingness to learn. In one of their conversations he had said:

“I don’t know what I’m doing out here. I’m just trying to make myself available to the Lord”.

I think some people would be critical of his being on a mission, but not me. I was impressed with his honesty and his desire to be of service. Though he didn’t have a lot of experience with spiritual things, he was ready to learn something, and he had put himself in the hands of the Lord to make that happen. He turned out to be a great missionary.

I think the Lord really does make up for our weaknesses if we are willing to align our will with His.

This was one of the hymns we sang today, and its message seems to go along with the talk. We may find ourselves in darkness in paths of our own choosing. But, if we will begin to ask Him for guidance, with childlike faith, we will find that He leads us:

Lead, Kindly Light
Lead, Kindly Light, amidst th’encircling gloom,

Lead Thou me on!

The night is dark, and I am far from home,

Lead Thou me on!

Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see

The distant scene; one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor prayed that Thou

Shouldst lead me on;

I loved to choose and see my path; but now
Lead Thou me on!

I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,

Pride ruled my will. Remember not past years!

So long Thy power hath blest me, sure it still

Will lead me on.

O’er moor and fen, o’er crag and torrent, till

The night is gone,

And with the morn those angel faces smile,

Which I have loved long since, and lost awhile!

Meantime, along the narrow rugged path,

Thyself hast trod,

Lead, Saviour, lead me home in childlike faith,

Home to my God.

To rest forever after earthly strife

In the calm light of everlasting life.

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An ocean of artists

As far as art and design, I think I’m a pretty good oyster. I can turn out some nice pearls once I have a a few grains of sand to work with. But, about the time I start thinking I’m a decent artist, I take a look at Pinterest and realize I’m a tiny speck in an ocean of talent.

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Straining at gnats and swallowing camels

There are many critics willing to closely examine, and cross-examine, the beliefs of those who have faith in Christ. Verse by verse and line by line they seek for contradictions and flaws. With great contempt and strong conviction they declare the folly of your beliefs. But, if you can get them to put forth some of their own beliefs, very often there is no study required to see flaws.

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The Man and the Goose – a fable – when are we justified to do wrong?

I first read this fable by Ambrose Bierce years ago in Mark Twain’s Library of Humor. Even as a child it impressed me, though my thoughts have changed about its meaning.

A man was plucking a living goose, when his victim addressed him thus:

“Suppose you were a goose; do you think you would relish this sort of thing?”

“Well, suppose I were,” answered the man; “do you think you would like to pluck me?”

“Indeed I would!” was the emphatic, natural, but injudicious reply.

“Just so,” concluded her tormentor; “that’s the way I feel about the matter.”

As a child I thought it was funny that the goose gave the man a reason to keep on plucking.

As an adult I see how this fable can apply to real life situations. The goose starts out by appealing to the man’s empathy, asking how he would feel if he were the victim. Instead of answering her question, the man pursues the other side of her hypothetical role reversal and asks if the goose would enjoy being the tormentor. The goose affirms strongly that she would.

With that reply the goose, unfortunately, puts herself on equal ground with the man. She isn’t any better than he. She just happens to be unable to execute her will. Knowing that she would do the same to him if roles were reversed, the man could proceed with a clearer conscience.

On the other hand, if she had replied that she had no desire to harm him, her original appeal to empathy might have had great effect. He might have seen the injustice of the situation and granted her pardon.

Some people will complain about the injustices dealt by others, but on closer examination they don’t really mind injustice as long as they get a turn at dealing it out.

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Human nature and the purchase of a television set

Back in college (pre Internet days) I was rooming with 5 other guys and we were discussing the purchase of a TV. We did the math and found that, rather than rent a TV over the course of the school year, it would be cheaper to pool our money and buy one. It seemed so simple, but it wasn’t. I’m sure you can guess the question that invariably came next—Who gets to keep the TV in the end? We almost went with a rental because it seems most people would rather spend more money and give it away to total strangers than to see a friend end up “ahead” in the end. It boggled my mind, but this strong opinion seems nearly universal.

The solution to that problem was simple. At the end of the year we would sell the TV and split the money 6 ways. But, it wasn’t that simple. What if only 5 people are willing to put in money toward a 6-person venture? The 6th guy said he wouldn’t use it so he didn’t want to pay. Again, there was a strong emotion tied to the fact that he MIGHT use it, and end up freeloading off the other 5 guys. Again, our plans to purchase a TV were stalled.

The unexpected solution came in the form of a generous sister who visited one of my roommates. She saw we were in need of a TV and gave one to her brother as a gift. Problem solved. Or so it seemed.

You might wonder what happened to the 6th roommate who had said he didn’t want to pay because he wouldn’t be using the TV. He really WAS a freeloader. He and the remote were inseparable companions, and the rest of us were lucky to ever watch anything without his approval. Human selfishness has a way of hindering the best laid plans.

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Refusing the waters of Shiloah

Isaiah’s words make me think about the times when I refuse to do what will bring me greater long-term happiness, and instead do something that is fun for the moment, but results in a much more stressful life over time.

In my case, one thing I could improve is getting enough sleep. If I went to bed earlier, on a regular basis, I would have time to exercise in the morning. If I went to bed earlier, I wouldn’t feel as tired during the rest of the next day. I would be up earlier, and it would be easier to get to work earlier. So many benefits, but do I choose them? Rarely. That stress is totally avoidable, but I choose to stay up late and reap the consequences.

Isaiah 8:6
6 Forasmuch as this people refuseth the waters of Shiloah that go softly, and rejoice in Rezin and Remaliah’s son;

7 Now therefore, behold, the Lord bringeth up upon them the waters of the river, strong and many, even the king of Assyria, and all his glory: and he shall come up over all his channels, and go over all his banks:

8 And he shall pass through Judah; he shall overflow and go over, he shall reach even to the neck; and the stretching out of his wings shall fill the breadth of thy land, O Immanuel.